Apprehension
by c.pham
Summary: Jasper spends some alone time with Bella and is forced to spring into action when her life is endangered. Can he keep himself under control, or will an encore of the events from her birthday party happen? Canon pairings; takes place after New Moon.
1. Chapter One: Epiphany

**Apprehension**

**Chapter One: Epiphany**

**(Jasper's POV)  
**

I felt her apprehension coming even before I heard her gentle footsteps getting closer to the room I shared with my beloved. Eventually, I could smell her floral scent at my door, though it was half a minute before I heard her softly knock. She must really be nervous to talk to me – I could understand why, of course, after what happened at her birthday party last year. Guilt started to settle in briefly as I started to relive that weak moment that led to even worse consequences. One of those consequences was the potential for Alice to get hurt when she'd ran off to Volterra to retrieve our brother. I fought to adjust my mood so that it wouldn't reach Bella and send her into a depression. I had a feeling she'd already had enough of that because of me. Suddenly, I realized I was keeping her waiting. I flitted to the door and opened it to find her deep brown eyes staring up at me nervously. I struggled to cut off my air supply once I caught a strong whiff of her appetizing scent.

"Bella," I managed to say. "Can I help you?"

"Hi Jasper… Alice and Rosalie went shopping, as you know, and Edward and the rest of the family is out hunting."

"Yes?" I was waiting for her to tell me something I didn't already know. Normally I'd take any opportunity to hunt, especially with Bella spending more and more time at the house, but I'd just gone last night with Alice.

Bella chewed on her lip and turned a bit pink as she struggled to get her next words out. I wondered if she realized the effect it was having on me, and was thankful I didn't need to breathe just yet. "Well, I was just wondering if you'd like to accompany me to a book store in Port Angeles."

Well, this was sudden. I'd never spent much time alone with Bella, but Alice really wanted to go shopping and even though she was her best friend, I could tell even Bella needed a break from my overenthusiastic wife sometimes. I offered to stay home with Bella so that my love could have her fun. Most girls Bella's age didn't need babysitters, but Edward had the distinct impression that if she was left alone, the only vampire in a hundred mile radius would somehow find their way to her. He also didn't want her sneaking out to La Push to hang out with her werewolf best friend. His worry was understandable, filthy and savage creatures that werewolves were. Even I could say I had more control over my animal nature than those mutts did.

"Um, Jasper?" Bella snapped me out of my reverie.

"Well…" I could barely handle being in this close proximity with her. Could I handle being alone in the car with her? I suddenly realized I would need more air if I intended to say anymore. I braced myself and inhaled. My throat burned and then my vision took on a slight pinkish hue. "Bella… I don't think that would be a very good idea."

I grabbed the doorknob to steady myself. Images of her disastrous birthday party flashed, and re-imagining the blood she'd spilled that night drove me almost to the edge. I forced myself to remember the pain my brother felt over her absence from his life, and his subsequent decision to commit suicide. This of course led to the memory of how beside myself with worry I was when Alice and Bella flew to Italy to save him. I inhaled sharply at the thought of losing my one and only love. Surprisingly, Bella's scent became _less_ appealing to me then. I couldn't believe it. Was my current line of thinking actually dampening my bloodlust? I breathed in again, and felt almost nothing after her scent hit me… Venom still pooled in my mouth instinctively, but there was no burning in my throat – not even an uncomfortable itch.

"Oh… okay." Bella looked disappointed in my response.

"Wait! Maybe that'd be alright." I sent out a wave of reassurance that I hoped would help her feel less put out, but she actually just looked confused. "I'm sorry Bella. At first I thought I might not be able to handle the bloodlust… I've always been the weakest link." I smiled sadly at her. "But I guess… I've just had a bit of an epiphany. I think I can control myself now."

She blinked, still confused. "So… you're not… hungry?" She struggled with trying to find the right words. I smiled at her effort.

"No, not in the slightest. Would you still like to go? I'd be honored to accompany you. Let me just make a phone call." I caught her smiling brightly at me before I turned to grab my cell phone. I punched in a number on my speed dial and put the phone to my ear. It rang once.

"Jasper? What is it, is Bella okay?" Edward sounded frantic.

"She's fine, she's perfectly fine." I rushed to calm him before he came running back home rashly. I spoke hurriedly in hushed tones to hide our conversation from Bella's mortal ears, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. "She asked me to take her to Port Angeles for a while, and I wasn't sure how you would feel about it."

"What? Where's Alice?"

"She went shopping with Rosalie. Bella didn't want to go – I think she needed a break." I chuckled.

"Are you sure you can take her?" he asked, hesitantly. I understood the double meaning in his question.

"Yes. I couldn't hurt Bella after what happened… I almost lost a brother and my wife." It hurt to say the words, to even think of the possibility of losing my Alice.

"I… don't know…" I could understand his hesitancy.

"I think Alice would have called me by now if she saw any trouble, and I fed yesterday." I reminded.

"Alright. But be careful."

"I will. I promise nothing will happen to her. You know I think of her as a little sister." I realized how much I meant what I said.

"I know," Edward said before hanging up. I put my phone in my pocket and turned again to Bella, smiling.

"Ready to go?"


	2. Chapter Two: A Long Way

**Apprehension**

**Chapter Two: A Long Way**

**(Bella's POV)**

Always a gentleman, Jasper held the door open for me as I got into the car. It was a car I didn't recognize; no doubt part of the Cullen family's vast collection of automobiles. I didn't bother taking notice to the make or model, since the information would just go over my head anyway. I did notice that it was a two-door and the shiny dark color of gunmetal. I assumed it was ten times faster and more responsive than my ancient truck – well, it was probably more so after Rosalie's tinkering. I smiled nervously as Jasper settled into the driver's seat. Absently, I noticed that he had arrived at the other side of the car with human speed. He didn't flash eagerly from my door to his like Edward always did. I attributed this to the lack of enthusiasm Jasper responded with at first when I'd asked him to come with me to Port Angeles.

"Are you hungry? Should we stop for food first?" Jasper asked as we pulled out of the long driveway. I smiled at his consideration.

"I'm not so hungry now, but maybe before we head back?"

"Sure."

I wondered if Edward nagged his siblings to keep me well fed before he left on his big hunting trip with the rest of the family.

We rode in silence most of the way there, which was turning out to be about half the time it would have taken if Jasper hadn't been driving like a maniac. I tried to ignore it though, not feeling comfortable enough to scold him like I would with Edward or Alice. We were now passing Piedmont, so we'd probably arrive at our destination in another fifteen minutes.

I cleared my throat awkwardly, and saw Jasper clench the steering wheel tightly in response. I immediately clamped my lips together. I would have to be more careful around Jasper, more considerate about his struggle. I felt sympathy for him, knowing it was a constant battle to be this close to me. I started to regret dragging him with me, but I'd really wanted to spend some time with him. We didn't have the best relationship, but I respected him and I felt a great amount of gratitude towards him after he helped to protect me from James. I shuddered as I thought the name, starting to remember that horrific day. Suddenly I felt myself getting calmer, and I smiled gratefully at Jasper.

"Sorry…" Jasper said suddenly. I frowned. What could he possibly be sorry for?

"Huh?" I responded dumbly.

"Well, I know I can be… scary. But I really am in control, Bella. I hope that assures you." Jasper looked at me then, his eyes sincere. I wished he'd keep his eyes on the road. He seemed to be driving even faster now than he was before.

"Oh, no Jasper! Those feelings weren't towards you. I was just remembering something…" I explained quickly, sad that he thought I was scared of him.

"Oh… I see." I saw him relax slightly. "Can I ask what you were thinking about?"

"I was thinking about how thankful I was that you and Alice had been there to protect me in Phoenix. The words you said to me… about me being worth saving, for Edward's sake." I smiled. "But that of course led to thoughts about James." I shuddered again and then felt Jasper's calming effect soothe me. "Thanks, again."

Jasper smiled at me, and we enjoyed a comfortable silence for the next few minutes before he started speaking again.

"Bella," he paused as if not knowing how to continue. "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am… about what happened on your birthday. As I said before, I've always been the weakest link when it comes to our 'vegetarian' life style. I was so ashamed at my actions that evening, and you have to know that I have never _wanted_ to harm you in any way whatsoever. I could never… consciously… do that to you, or Edward - or Alice, for that matter. I felt such remorse after what I put Edward through. The pain… I could feel it in my brother every day. I can't imagine what you were feeling while we were away. Then, when you and Alice risked your lives to save Edward, I dreaded the possibility that either of you could be hurt… Because of me."

I was overwhelmed by his sudden honesty and sincerity, but most of all his undue remorse. "Oh, Jasper please don't blame yourself for anything that happened back then." I didn't really want to dwell on the time I'd spent without Edward and his family in my life, or the events that happened in Volterra. "It's really water under the bridge. I know you weren't yourself when you..." I struggled to find the right words that wouldn't make him seem like some untamed animal. "…When you faltered. I don't blame you or anyone else… I just wish you and Edward could just understand that." Of course, Jasper wasn't the only one constantly racked with guilt over what had happened. "But I'm glad that you've found control – I know it's been hard for you with me constantly around. I hope you didn't feel obligated to accompany me tonight."

"Not at all, Bella. I welcome the opportunity to spend time with you. As I mentioned in Phoenix, you have made such a wonderful impression on our family. You've truly made Edward feel complete – I know that without a shadow of a doubt. You have been wonderful to him, and I truly see you as a little sister."

"Thank you, Jasper, you don't know how much it means to me to hear that. Sometimes I've wondered if… well, if you even liked me at all." I admitted sadly.

"I'm so sorry if I made you feel that way. It isn't the case at all. You're very dear to me, as you are with every other member in my family."

"Well, I'm not sure about _every_ member of the family." I smiled knowingly.

"No, Bella, even Rosalie respects and loves you. Not all the time, admittedly – but that's truly just her nature. She sometimes hates the rest of us too." He sighed, and I wondered about that. Did Rosalie really hate her family at times?

"I can't see that. Why would she hate any of you? You're her family." My voice was getting higher pitched.

"Well… Rosalie hates this life, and we happen to be in it. She does love us, but at times when she is feeling sorry for herself, she hates us for being what we are."

"But doesn't that mean she should hate herself too?"

"Yes, and she does. But like I said, that's only some of the time. You have to understand she didn't choose this life. None of us did, but she really detests being a vampire." He paused for a moment. "Maybe it's more correct to say that she hates not being human."

I thought then about the night the family casted their votes for or against my future immortality. Rosalie had voted against it, and her words came to me now.

"_I don't mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister. It's just that… this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me."_

Jasper was speaking again. "The truth is that Rosalie began to love you the day you saved us from an eternity without Edward."

More of Rosalie's words sprung to mind…

"_I'm so very sorry, Bella. I feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful that you were brave enough to go save my brother after what I did."_

I was beginning to understand Rosalie now. I wondered if my insistence in becoming what she hated so much was the reason why she was still so cold to me. Or… maybe it was because I was currently what she wanted so desperately to be? Human? No, she couldn't be jealous of _me_. I was plain. She was a goddess, or it seemed that way at least on the outside. Maybe it was the fact that I was willing to give up my humanity so quickly. It struck me then… Rosalie was _disappointed_ in me. And her personality turned her disappointment into anger. I wondered if our relationship would ever get better, and the chances of that made me sad. No, I didn't see Rosalie and I ever being close. It was a shame, knowing that I would soon be spending an eternity with her and the rest of her family, and we would never be as close as I was with Alice.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice interrupted my thoughts. I snapped out of it, and realized we'd arrived at the bookstore and he was now waiting at my side, with my door open for me. I wondered how Jasper knew which bookstore I wanted to go to.

"How," I started to ask before he cut me off.

"Alice called me before we left."

"Oh." I guess that meant Alice also told him that he wouldn't lose control in my presence, which was probably why we were even here together. That comforted me, but I immediately regretted thinking that there was even a possibility that Jasper would hurt me, after the conversation we just had.

Jasper held his hand out for me, and as I took it, he helped me out of the car. I grinned happily… that was the first physical contact I think we've ever had.

We were really coming a long way.

* * *

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	3. Chapter Three: Venom

**Apprehension**

**Chapter Three: Venom**

**(Jasper's POV)**

As I took Bella's hand and helped her from the car, I was delighted to pick up on Bella's happiness – no – _pride_ at my gesture. I really felt like my self-control had come a long way in just a few hours. It was endearing to me knowing that this simple human girl recognized my progress in what would usually be considered such a small gesture. But I had learned that Bella was anything but simple, and if it weren't for the steady heartbeat I could hear drumming away, I wouldn't even be sure she was all that _human_.

We walked through the small parking lot in silence as we approached the entrance of the bookstore. I held the door open for her and she smiled timidly at me. Edward had mentioned to Emmett and I before how Bella felt awkward with even the simplest acts of chivalry. I chuckled as she passed me into the store. In my day, these small gestures were simply just expectedfrom men. It was just _right_. Today, human boys – and that's what most of them were to me, regardless of whether they were thirteen years old or thirty – could seldom be caught being gentlemen. I could see why most females were taken off guard on the rare occasion a door was held open for them or they were helped out of a car. At least Edward and I had taken it down a few notches since our day. At least we didn't stand whenever a young lady such as Bella joined us in a room. That was just going overboard in these times. Maybe I _would_ make it a point to stand whenever Bella walked into a room from now on. I chuckled at my plan. Bella turned around to look at me, confused.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing… I was just thinking about something." I cleared my throat to try and sober my amusement. "Is there a specific book you're looking for?" I was curious as to why Bella wanted to come all the way here just to go to a bookstore.

"No, but there is something I wanted to research." She looked like she didn't want to go on. "Well, you see… I wanted to know more about Jacob's culture, his ancestry. I purchased a book here a while ago, but it only briefly went over that subject." I could feel her dread as she shuddered again. Another memory? I thought back to what might have happened the last time she was in this little bookstore, and then remembered what Alice had told me. That night, Bella had come very close to being assaulted by a group of drunken _assholes_. I sent out another calming wave to Bella, hoping that she would feel safe with me here. I would have laughed at the irony if I weren't starting to feel angry that anyone would intentionally want to hurt Bella. I didn't want to say that I had an excuse because I was essentially a monster, but what was _their _excuse for simply being subhuman? Disgusting. I wanted to spit venom. I clenched and unclenched my hands at my side. Trying to think about something else, I remembered what she'd just said.

"You're researching _werewolves_?" Why on earth was she so obsessed with those filthy animals?

"Well, yes." Bella looked at me like she couldn't fathom why I would be so averse to the idea. Maybe it was a good idea for her to research them, if it would better prepare her to be around such ill-controlled mutts. I couldn't think of what would happen if one of her puppy dog friends lost their cool in her presence. She looked annoyed. "I'm going to browse… I'll come find you when I'm done." She turned to walked away from me and I chuckled again.

"Ok, I'll just be outside." I walked out of the shop, taking a mental note to keep track of Bella's emotions in case something happened in my absence. Edward would never forgive me if I let anything happen to her.

As I stepped outside I was thankful that it had recently rained, and the fresh mist in the air and water on the ground dampened most of the human scents in the area. I stood there with my eyes closed, thinking about the conversation I'd just had with Bella.

* * *

_Bella cleared her throat next to me, making a fresh stream of her breath fill the space in front of us. I clenched the steering wheel as venom coated my tongue. I could sense a mixture of fear and anxiety coming from Bella, and I fought to relax. Sending a wave of calm towards her, I hoped that she would feel less in danger from me. She turned and smiled at me._

"_Sorry…" I didn't want her to feel scared of me, but I was glad she still had some sense of self-preservation. I knew that was a constant concern of my Edward's._

"_Huh?"_

"_Well I know I can be… scary." I knew that more than anyone. "But I really am in control, Bella. I hope that assures you." I wanted her to believe me. I had to make up for what I'd already done to her and my brother._

"_Oh, no Jasper! Those feelings weren't towards you. I was just remembering something…" I found it endearing that she was trying to cover up her real reasons for being afraid. I asked her to elaborate._

"_I was thinking about how thankful I was that you and Alice had been there to protect me in Phoenix. The words you said to me… about me being worth saving, for Edward's sake." I nodded; remembering what I'd told her… it had been one of my first real conversations with her. Actually, I'm sure it was one of my _only_ real conversations with Bella. The fact was that she _was_ worth saving. She made my brother feel so happy. Anyone could see that, and none of us wanted anything bad to happen to her. She continued explaining. "But that of course led to thoughts about James." She shuddered and I sensed her anxiety again. Well that made more sense. I guessed she was telling the truth about her feelings of fear not being for me._

_That day the vampire, James, threatened Bella… the decision to help protect her from his evil intentions was an easy one. I knew even if Alice's foreseen relationship with this human girl had not yet begun yet, my wife would be devastated to lose her so soon. And Edward… I now knew what would have happened if my brother had lost Bella that day. He would have flown to Italy much sooner than he did. I shook my head, realizing how close we were to having lost my brother. I brought that possibility to life the second time, when I had savagely attacked Bella on her birthday. It was one of the weakest moments in my existence. I couldn't believe it when Alice and Edward both forgave me. But… did Bella? That was it. I was determined to make her understand how infinitely full of remorse I was._

"_Bella…" I started. "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am… about what happened on your birthday. As I said before, I've always been the weakest link when it comes to our 'vegetarian' life style." I wondered how long it would take before that excuse became old. I didn't want it to be an excuse. There was no excuse for what I'd done. "I was so ashamed at my actions that evening, and you have to know that I have never _wanted_ to harm you in any way whatsoever. I could never… consciously… do that to you, or Edward - or Alice, for that matter." That was a lie. I had consciously wanted to harm Bella at one time… when she first intruded upon our lives. I had wanted to remove her as a potential threat. I didn't know Bella personally at the time and I thought she might expose us after Edward had foolishly gotten between her and a car. I couldn't allow Alice to live in even the slightest danger. I'd said as much to Edward, but he was determined to protect Bella. I'd accused him of not loving anyone the way I love Alice. But I was wrong… of course neither of us had realized that at the time. It was only after we had realized how deeply Bella affected Edward when my feelings changed. I wouldn't allow anyone to hurt her, just as Edward wouldn't have allowed me to hurt her either. He'd proven that on her birthday. "I felt such remorse after what I put Edward through. The pain… I could feel it in my brother every day." Well, every day that he was still with us. The pain was immense and it overwhelmed me to feel what he was going through. I was ashamed to feel relief when he had left to track down Victoria. In those months, I didn't have to bear his agony along with him. Still, I felt what the rest of my family was missing when he left, in addition to my own feelings of regret. "I can't imagine what you were feeling while we were away. Then, when you and Alice risked your lives to save Edward, I dreaded the possibility that either of you could be hurt… Because of me." I was so angry with myself when the consequences of my actions unraveled before me. Alice was going to face the Volturi, and I wouldn't be able to protect her. I was angry with Edward too, for his rash actions… but honestly, could I blame him? Who was to say I wouldn't have done the same exact thing should Alice have died? I was grateful that she was more durable than Bella was._

_Beside me, Bella's feelings were going out of control. "Oh, Jasper please don't blame yourself for anything that happened back then._ _It's really water under the bridge. I know you weren't yourself when you..._ _When you faltered." Her choice of words did not go unnoticed by me. "I don't blame you or anyone else… I just wish you and Edward could just understand that." _

_I was touched that she so easily forgave me – that she saw no reason to forgive me in the first place. But how could I not blame myself? The evidence of my fault in the whole situation was blatantly clear. She continued speaking._

"_But I'm glad that you've found control – I know it's been hard for you with me constantly around. I hope you didn't feel obligated to accompany me tonight."_

_Immediately, I tried to assure her that in no way did I see this as an obligation. "Not at all, Bella. I welcome the opportunity to spend time with you. As I mentioned in Phoenix, you have made such a wonderful impression on our family. You've truly made Edward feel complete – I know that without a shadow of a doubt." I felt it every day. "You have been wonderful to him, and I truly see you as a little sister." I repeated only what I'd told Edward on the phone._

"_Thank you, Jasper, you don't know how much it means to me to hear that. Sometimes I've wondered if… well, if you even liked me at all." It hurt to know that she felt I disliked her, but I could understand her impression._

"_I'm so sorry if I made you feel that way. It isn't the case at all. You're very dear to me, as you are with every other member in my family." My feelings towards Bella weren't solely due to her relationship with my brother. I had really come to enjoy Bella's presence, when I wasn't completely frightened that I would kill her. I knew what she was feeling when she was around me – what she felt towards Edward and those around us. She truly didn't have a mean bone in her body. Her feelings calmed me, made the air around us content and enjoyable. It was a relief._

_

* * *

  
_

My reflections were interrupted when a human passed me, blowing smoke in my face from his cigarette. Vile. I looked at my watch and determined that it had been ten minutes since I left Bella in the store. I wondered if I should go in and check on her, and suddenly I was convinced when I felt a great amount of fear coming from inside the small establishment. I fought to maintain a human speed as I hurried back into the store, scanning the aisles for Bella. I heard someone speaking to her.

"Hey you look familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere, beautiful?" It was the idiot who blew passed me a few minutes ago, I was sure. No one else had come into the store before him. I wondered if he thought that pick up line actually worked. I turned towards his voice, making my way to where he and Bella stood. Bella's fear increased, and I sped up.

"Um… no, I – " She gulped. I wondered what about this stranger could have her so scared. "I don't think so."

"No I'm sure I've seen you somewhere…" the stranger insisted. I arrived at the other end of the aisle, a few yards behind him. Bella hadn't noticed me yet, and she was turning the other way, ready to walk away from him.

"Wait, you're that chick I ran into with my friends." He laughed, reaching out and grabbing Bella's arm. Bella wrenched herself from his grasp, stumbling into the bookshelf behind her, and falling to the ground. I growled, and rushed to the man, grabbing his shoulder and flinging him to the side. It took an enormous amount of control to make sure I didn't use too much of my strength as he fell back a few feet from Bella and I. I crouched down to make sure she was ok, checking the back of her head where she'd hit it against the shelf.

"Bella!" I prayed there would be no blood as I felt the back of her head gently. I found none, and was relieved both because it would be infinitely easier to stay at her side, and because she wasn't too greatly hurt. "Are you alright?" I looked into her eyes, concerned as her anxiety rose.

"Jasper… he – " I looked back at the filth that had the audacity to put his hand on Bella. He was still on his ass, backing up a few more feet, as I'm sure he somehow sensed the amount of danger he was in.

"Who is he, Bella? Do you know him?" I couldn't imagine why Bella was so scared of this person. I sniffed the air and smelled alcohol. Jesus, it was the middle of the day. I felt my expression turn into a scowl.

"He… he and his friends, they tried to… to," she stuttered. "But Edward came…"

It dawned on me just who exactly this person was. He was the same man responsible for cornering Bella in an alley near here. I tried not to think of what could have happened if my brother hadn't arrived in time. I couldn't stop myself from sending waves of terror to the subhuman filth in front of me, careful not to let it affect Bella. She was scared enough without my help. I saw him steal a glance at Bella, and it infuriated me.

"Just WHO do you think you are?" I yelled.

Bella gently grasped the bottom of my pant leg. "Jasper, don't…" I could tell she was worried of what would happen if I lost my control here. Just then, my phone rang. I stood up, looking down at the disgusting excuse for a human in front of me. "Get the hell out of here!"

He ran out, and I looked at my phone. Alice. I immediately flipped it open and put it against my ear.

"Jasper, my love!" Alice exclaimed.

"Alice…" my voice shook as I fought to calm down.

"I'm so proud of you. Is Bella alright?" I looked back, and Bella was still on the ground. I crouched down again to help her up.

"Yes she's fine, she's just a little shaken." I tried to calm her with my extra abilities, satisfied when I saw her shoulders relax.

"I'm so proud of you, Jasper." Alice repeated, and I felt so much love for her then. "I'm sorry I didn't see sooner. I could have avoided this whole thing. When I called you earlier, I'd just seen that you two would both be coming home safely. I didn't know what was going to happen before that until a few seconds ago. But I'm glad that you're _both_ alright."

"It's okay, love, you can't see everything. And yes, we're both fine." I looked back at Bella again to make sure I was telling the truth. She was smoothing out her clothes. I smiled at her comfortingly before speaking into the phone and returning my attention to Alice. "I'll see you at home." I smiled, anticipating when I would be able to hold her again. It had only been a few hours since I last saw her, but I missed her still.

Before I hung up, a thought occurred to me. "Alice?"

"Yes, Edward knows. He's home already – you should hurry back, before he loses it. I love you. See you soon." Click. I heard Bella's phone vibrate then, knowing it was my brother on the other end.

* * *

Some of you might be wondering if this is the moment mentioned in the story's summary, where Jasper is "forced to spring into action when Bella's life is endangered." It isn't.

More to come!

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	4. Chapter Four: Separation Anxiety

**Apprehension**

**Chapter Four: Separation Anxiety**

**(Edward's POV)**

I found myself watching the door even though I knew I would hear the car coming long before Bella and Jasper actually walked into the house. I had been beside myself with worry ever since I got off the phone with Alice and rushed back to the house. Anxiously, I waited until Bella was physically in my arms again before I could exhale. Until then, I was determined to hold my breath. The wait was agonizing, and I kept myself busy reflecting on what I could have done differently to prevent this near-disaster.

* * *

_Something had been bothering me ever since I'd gotten off the phone with Jasper, and I knew exactly what that 'something' was. I was ashamed to admit, even to myself, that I was slightly annoyed that Alice and Rosalie would leave Bella alone in the house with Jasper. I loved my brother, but I couldn't help thinking about what happened on her birthday. I didn't blame him for what happened that night; I'd long since forgiven him for it all. But I was scared it could happen – Correction, I _knew_ it _could_ happen again… I was terrified that it _would_. And even amidst that fear, I had still wanted to give him the benefit of doubt. _

_When he called to ask me if it was okay for him to accompany Bella to Port Angeles alone, I was perplexed. He assured me that he was in control and that he could never hurt Bella after what happened – the events that led to Alice almost being hurt in the wake of it all. I'd thought about how I overcame my desire to kill my one true love, and I wanted Jasper to overcome his bloodlust in the same way. So foolishly, I'd let them go. Was it naïve? I had to believe that Alice would see if something was going to happen to my Bella. She would have prevented them from going all together._

_No. I had to be sure. I picked my phone out of my pocket, flipped it open and hit the speed dial. It rang once._

"_They'll be _fine_, Edward. Really." I could hear the aggravation in Alice's voice. I didn't bother wondering how she'd known what I was calling about._

"_Are you quite sure, Alice?" I didn't want to voice my insecurities about her husband to Alice, but I wouldn't allow anything to happen to my angel._

"_I think I would have seen if something were to –" She stopped abruptly. My dead heart dropped into my stomach... Or at least it felt that way._

"_Alice? Alice!" I yelled. Emmett hissed beside me as I scared his prey off. I didn't care… I only cared about Bella. _

"_Edward, something is going to happen but Bella _will_be fine." What? I tried to make sense out of what my sister was telling me._

_Frustrated, I almost growled into the phone, "Alice, what the hell are you talking about? What's going to happen to Bella?" _

_Emmett finally pulled his attention away from the hunt and looked at me with concern in his eyes. "Bella? What's wrong with Bella?" He reached to take the phone from my hand, and I almost snapped at him with my razor sharp teeth. Carlisle and Esme appeared at my side, having heard us. They too were concerned for Bella. Esme gently stroked my shoulder._

"_She's going to run into someone from her past; from the night you rescued her from a group of human men." Alice finally explained. "He won't recognize her at first – he'll have a hard time placing her, but once he does remember who she is, he'll grab her arm." I growled. I wished I were near Alice right now, seeing the vision for myself instead of having to wait for her to tell me what was going to happen. Better yet, I wished I were in Port Angeles where I could protect Bella myself. Alice continued, "She'll fall down trying to get away from him, and Jasper is there." Great… if Jasper lost his temper, who knew what would happen then? It was taking all my inner-strength to stay where I was. I tried to keep listening. "Jasper scares him away, and they're fine. I can't see what happens immediately after that, but I do see them both coming home."_

"_When is this happening?" I demanded._

"_In a few seconds. I'll meet you at home, Edward," she replied before hanging up. _

_I was relieved, but I still desperately wanted to have Bella in my arms. I dared not call Jasper, not wanting to delay him before he got to Bella. It hurt me to think of her in any kind of fear or anxiety… especially due to this sad excuse for a human. Why was he out around in public anyway? I distinctly remembered Carlisle taking care of him and his friends that same night they'd cornered Bella in an alley with every disgusting and evil intention in mind. When I'd read their thoughts that night, I had wanted to rip their tracheas out with my teeth. Fortunately Bella's presence and the priority of her safety sobered my desire for vengeance. I had settled with asking that Carlisle take care of them later that evening. His idea of taking care of them was to round them up and turn them into the local police. The next morning, I had seen and heard it for myself on the news:_

"_Alonzo Calderas Wallace, suspected serial rapist and murderer wanted in the states of Texas and Oklahoma, was apprehended last night in Portland, Oregon thanks to an anonymous tip."_

_So why was he roaming Port Angeles a free man now? I'd have to find out somehow. The only thing that mattered at this moment was Bella. My Bella… my angel. _

_I rushed back home at full speed to wait for my love's return, leaving Emmett and my parents in the wilderness._

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_

Finally I heard the car approaching and I rushed out to the driveway to meet them, desperate to hear Bella's heartbeat as I held her once again. The car pulled up in front of me and I flitted to the passenger's side door, opening it. I leaned in, smelling Bella's sweet aroma as I unbuckled her seat belt for her and helped her out. "Bella, love, are you quite alright? Does anything hurt? How do you feel?" I fought the urge to simply tear the door from the car. I could feel Jasper trying to calm me with his extra faculties, but I was having none of that at this moment.

"Edward, I'm fine. My head hurts a little but I'm okay, _really_." Bella tried to assure me but I could still detect the slightest shake in her voice. I stifled a growl as I heard she was hurt, and gently felt the back of her head for any bumps.

"Is this from when you fell?" I thought I felt the slightest lump, but I knew Bella would physically be fine. Emotionally, however…

"Yeah, you know me. I told you I fall down a lot – no point in running, really." She chuckled nervously, trying to lighten the mood.

"_Didn't you think about running?" I'd asked._

"_I fall down a lot when I run."_

I shook the memory off… it felt like a lifetime ago. "It's not funny… " I looked into Bella's deep brown eyes. "Now, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm just fine, Edward. It was scary, but thankfully Jasper was there."

I looked at my brother then and I too was thankful. He nodded at me. I'd barely noticed Jasper's presence when they first arrived home; I was so focused on my Bella. My eyes flickered from him to Bella and I hoped Jasper would get the message.

'_She's a little shaken, but I think she'll be fine after a few hours. She really wanted to get back to you,'_ Jasper told me in his thoughts. I held Bella tightly to me, wanting somehow to be so close to her that her problems would become mine. I was careful not to be too eager… it wouldn't do to crush her after today's ordeal. Bella shivered slightly, and I reestablished some distance from her so that my cold body didn't freeze her extremities off. My hand on the small of her back, I led her into the house.

The rest of my family waited in the living room as we came through the door. Esme rushed to Bella's side and squeezed her shoulder gently. "Are you alright, dear? We were so worried… how fortunate we were that Jasper was there with you." She looked up to smile proudly at my brother.

Bella nodded, "I'm fine Esme… Thank you for asking. And yes, I was lucky Jasper was there…" She turned to Jasper, "Really, I can't thank you enough."

"Me neither." I chimed in sincerely, and Jasper looked slightly embarrassed by the attention.

Alice and Emmet came to join us then, followed by Carlisle, who took Esme's hand.

Alice stood on her toes to embrace her husband, "I'm so proud of you." She looked deeply into Jasper's eyes and I refocused my attention on Bella, not wanting to intrude on what seemed like a very private moment between them. But then, Emmett came up behind Jasper and slapped him on the back.

"Yeah, good job Jazz… you totally kept your cool, huh? That guy really came close to getting completely mauled." Emmett snickered, and Rosalie rolled her eyes from across the room.

_'He wouldn't have been so lucky if I were there. Slime. I don't care if I can't stand the girl, no one should have to go through what I went through' _Rosalie's thoughts surprised me, and I looked across the room at her. She caught my eye and looked away quickly, walking up the stairs. Rosalie and I didn't have the best relationship, and it was obvious that she would never get along with Bella, but I was thankful that she still showed some concern.

Carlisle spoke then, and I pulled my eyes away from Rosalie's back. "Bella, I'm glad you're okay. But you must be hungry… you should eat something after an ordeal like you just had."

"Oh Bella, perhaps I can make you something in the kitchen." Esme's eyes brightened, wanting to help Bella in any way she could.

"I'm not all that hungry," Bella started, but I shook my head.

"You should eat, Bella. Will you just get something in your stomach?" I thought about the first time something had almost happened to Bella, and how I'd forced her to eat before I took her home. It was the night she'd first acknowledged me as a vampire – the same night she told me she didn't care that I was a monster, though she'd never use that word. I smiled at Bella, trying my best to dazzle her. "Please?"

Bella sighed, "Okay, maybe some eggs…"

Esme flashed to the kitchen, opening our rarely used refrigerator. Soon the smell of her cooking filled the first floor, and I sat Bella down at the table. Jasper was at the computer and I tuned into his thoughts, interested in what he was about to find. I wanted to know why Alonzo Calderas wasn't in jail. I watched the computer screen through Jasper's mind as he navigated his way through the police database. Finally, he found the information we were both looking for. I grinded my teeth together while I learned that Calderas' case was thrown out due to the mishandling of some evidence. That's it? That was the reason a drunken serial rapist was allowed to roam the streets and threaten _my__Bella_? Unacceptable. I could tell from Jasper's thoughts that he was along the same line of thinking. Venom filled my mouth at this complete atrocity, and I clenched my hand into a fist in my pocket.

Jasper cleared his throat, _'Edward, calm down.'_

I could tell that my anger was affecting him, and I tried to control myself. I was barely keeping it together when Bella took my hand. I forced myself to regain my composure, not wanting to scare her.

"Will you help me study?" Bella asked, looking slightly perplexed. I looked down at her plate and saw that she was finished eating. I wondered what she was really thinking... she never needed help with her studies. Did she notice how furious I was getting? Maybe she was trying to distract me. I leaned down to plant a kiss on her temple, thankful again that she was here.

"Of course, love." I put my arm around her waist and led her to the stairs.

_'She's extraordinary…'_ My ears perked up at Jasper's thoughts._ 'I thought he was about to lose it, but he's totally calm now.' _I smiled. Bella did have that effect on me. I didn't want to think about what had almost happened to her again… I was just glad that Bella was with me now, perfectly safe – perfectly _perfect._

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Not the best chapter, I suppose. I struggled a bit with this, but hopefully the next will be better. Reviews wanted!


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